Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas Is Finally Over!!!

Just a quick note to say that I am happy Christmas is over but wish it took with it all the extra poundage it gave to me. I tried to resist the temptation but am very ashamed to admit I failed.

I ate junk.

I didn't exercise.

And I felt like crap the whole time.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me but I am happy to say that as of today, I am back on track. Oy-vey! Thank GOD these holidays are almost over!!!

How did you do this last week? Did you maintain your weight? Did you resist temptation? How was your Christmas?

Note: I will blog more later in the week... just wanted to let you know I'm still alive! haha!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

Monday, December 21, 2009

Cancer, Colds and Carbs...OH-MY!

Here's my weekend in a nutshell:

CANCER:
Ok, so Mom has breast cancer. We found out it's a genetic/hereditary form so I now have to go for testing. OMG! At 26 years old, I have to be tested for Breast Cancer. Sad. So it's been cool all weekend. My mom, sister and I have been really supportive of each other and not dwelled too much on it. BUT, "old man" has been going overboard. Every movie he's turned on TV had to do with cancer. He's been telling us all kinds of cancer facts and reasons why we should do certain things to prevent it. It's friggin' annoying.

COLDS:
I am sick. Actually, I think it's a sinus infection. It doesn't feel like a cold but my head is all stuffy, my eyes burn, I'm SUPER tired and my nose wont stop running. I have to keep all germs away from mom because if she gets sick, she can't have her surgery on the 30th. So, I'm going to my doctor today to get some meds or whatever.

CARBS:
Ah! This weekend was crazy! With all this sinus crap, my tastebuds are shot. So, technically, I shouldn't be eating anything other than soup. BUT, my sister bought a bunch of candy "for our stockings" and, of course, opened it for everyone instead. I had a few pieces too many and didn't even taste it. Bummer. We had some pizza, chips and other carbs over the weekend. I indulged but couldn't actually taste it. Seems like such a waste.

I tried to recover yesterday, though. I made a cucumber sandwich, a few white corn tortilla chips and a sugar-free jell-o for lunch.
I also had natrual organic brown rice with broccoli and spinach for dinner. It was yummy!

I bought myself a new lunchbox this weekend, too! Now I am motivated to bring my lunch with me instead of buying it out. I got up early this morning to make my lunch just so I could use my pretty new lunchbox.

Luch for today is 1/2 c. organic whole grain brown rice, 1/2 c. broccoli, 1 oz raw almonds mixed together with a light yogurt and a sugar-free jell-o. Yummm!!!

Have a wonderful week, reader!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

The Polar Express

One of the greatest memories I will ever hold in my heart is when Monkey & I went to see The Polar Express.

We were supposed to go see it at IMAX but that closed the day before so we ended up at Harkins. Right in the foyer of the theater they had HUGE Chipmunks for kiddos to talk to and/or take pix with. Monkey looks so small next to these big guys!



My MOPS group rented out the entire theater so we had it almost completely to ourselves.


This is us anxiously waiting for the movie to start.... it started 15 minutes late so we were getting bored. Thus, the picture-taking!


It was nice. The only bad thing was that it was mostly little kiddos and babies so there was a lot of crying and talking through the whole movie. At first we couldn't really even hear the movie, but then we were able to tune everyone else out and had a blast!

Monkey got a little antsy towards the end and decided to play with my camera. Here's some of his handy-work:



It was such an amazing experience. We got a "kids pack" for free since they inconvenienced us by closing the IMAX, so Monkey and I shared that. We had already bought some licorice on our way there so we shared that too. More calories than I should have eaten, but whatever. We had a blast, I didn't go overboard and like I said, it's a memory I'll always hold in my heart.

As we left the movie, our MOPS group handed out silver bells (like the one in the movie) to all the kiddos. Monkey has not let his out of his sight ever since! He's so obsessed with The Polar Express... it's so cute! I can't wait to take him to the actual Polar Express (up north) next Christmas!

Oh, and the kiddos all go to wear jammies, drink hot chocolate and eat cookies... just like in the movie. SUCH a great experience!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

Friday, December 18, 2009

Basghetti... Mmmm Mmm!!!

Last night was a busy night. We all went for a walk as a family and then got home at 6:30 and couldn't decide on dinner... grilled cheese and soup or spaghetti and salad? My sister won, so we had whole wheat spaghetti (or basghetti, as Monkey and I say it), salad and croissant rolls.


This is a pick of Monkey's plate. I had the same thing, but more salad and balsamic vinaigrette instead of ranch. It was a filling dinner but not overboard like I've been eating. Oh, I also bought fat free frozen vanilla yogurt for dessert (my fam is big on dessert) and crushed a few M&M's over the top.

All in all, I was pleased with dinner and everyone enjoyed it! Success!!! :-)

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

Trying on Clothes

Here's a few pix from Monday (right after our bad news). My sister and I went shopping for an outfit for my big interview... and also for her surprise party, which she didn't know about.





I guess I felt pretty in them, but it was really hard to be happy about shopping when we had just been hit with such bad news. I felt so fat and frumpy... and I think the pix show it.

Anyway, I just thought I'd post these because I think it's important to reflect on success. I, obviously, wasn't in the right frame of mind for this, but looking at the pix now, I'm 25 lbs lighter and can see areas where my body is firming up.

Now, to keep working on ME so the next time I take this pix I can notice even more results!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~


PS- I ended up not getting any of these outfits. I got black pinstripe pants, a red lace top with a black fancy sweater over it. Oh and lots of pretty jewlery and a big ol' smile, of course!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fight or Flight

Ok, so I started this blog to be completely open and honest about my weight loss struggles. The fact that my mom has cancer is a very scary thing and my response to it is a very real example of how fat people struggle. I lapsed. I've been doing SO good for a long time now and this bad news set me back. I'm about 5 lbs up in the last week now and it's a big combo of mindless eating and S-T-R-E-S-S.

I know I have the choice to fight or fly.... meaning, stay on track and fight through the pain or leave all my hard work behind. I'm choosing to stay on track. It's not so much of a choice as a necessity.

I'm meeting with my Doctor today to try and get on Metformin for my PCOS and hopefully balance out my insulin or whatever so I can stop gaining weight. My body just needs a chance to catch up with all my hard work. Then it's back to eating good... no white anything, no soda, lots of veggies and some fruit, organics, etc. I can't let this nightmare destroy my life. Then I would put my son through the same thing I'm feeling right now and I will NOT do that to him.

So, yes, I'm still very sad and very stressed, but I'm also very smart and very strong! We will all get through this gawd-aweful cancer deal and I will reach my weight goal. It may take a bit longer than I've planned (even though my plan gets modified every couple of weeks), but it will get done!

Yes, positive Beckie-Lynn is back.... and ready to fight harder than ever before!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~


PS- Recipes... I need 'em... suggestions? Kid-friendly, quick(ish) and healthy, please!!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

FOOD.... My Drug of Choice

I woke up this morning completely hungover. I wish I could say it was alcohol because honestly, that's probably a better "drug" for me right now. At least I can throw it up. But no, it wasn't alcohol... or any other pill or drug.... it was food. I ate straight through my emotions these last two days and woke up this morning from a food coma.

I don't know why I'm posting that on here other than to hopefully hear what I need to hear from you, my readers, so I stop. Eating poorly isn't going to change the fact that my mom has cancer. It isn't going to make it hurt less or mysteriously disappear. It only makes me more miserable. And I don't wanna deal with something like this in my future so I know I need to get back on track.

My whole life, food has been my "comfort". As gross as that sounds, it's always been there fore me. Friends come and go. Family comes and go. Life sux. Shit happens. But food is always there. Anytime, anywhere... food is always to be found. And it's cheap. You can drive through just about anywhere and leave in a greasy carb-coma for $5 or less.

I don't feel like going to the gym. I feel like "why bother"? I'm so unbelievably stressed and upset and raging full of bottled up emotions.... why even exert the energy at the gym when it doesn't really matter? I have to keep my happy face one... my family needs me. I'm used to being the strong one even though it's all bottled up inside...

I need to make this a good Christmas for my mom. I want to take her up north, even for a day, but can't afford it. Any suggestions how I can afford a mini-vacay for her? I've sold almost everything I have just to pay for her surprise birthday party (which is now gonna be a waste cuz it's 2 days after her surgery). I'm so broke but really want to make her happy. Nows the time to be creative!

Would love to hear your thoughts and ideas!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Breast Cancer Prevention (For Girls AND Boys)

So I'm having a really hard dealing with my mom's news from yesterday but as with every other crisis in our family, I'm the strong one. It's so hard sometimes to always be the strong one, but everyone needs someone to lean on and for my family, it's me.

Of course I've been doing a LOT of research on breast cancer, ways to fight it and ways for me and my siblings to prevent it. I came across a good article and though it was important enough to share with all of you... girls and boys, men and women! (Keep in mind, even MEN get breast cancer...)


Ann Kulze, M.D. is the author of Dr. Ann's 10-Step Diet (Top Ten Wellness and Fitness, October 2004), a primary care physician, spokesperson for Ruby Tuesday's Restaurant and mother of four. Dr. Ann designed these ten steps to show you how YOU can prevent breast cancer in your life.

1. Maintain a healthy body weight (BMI less than 25) throughout your life. Weight gain in midlife, independent of BMI, has been shown to significantly increase breast cancer risk. Additionally, and elevated BMI has been conclusively shown to increase the risk of post-menopausal breast cancer.

2. Minimize or avoid alcohol. Alcohol use is the most well established dietary risk factor for breast cancer. The Harvard Nurses' Health study, along with several others, has shown consuming more than one alcoholic beverage a day can increase breast cancer risk by as much as 20-25 percent.

3. Consume as many fruits and vegetables as possible. Eat seven or more servings daily. The superstars for breast cancer protection include all cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, cauliflower) ; dark leafy greens (collards, kale, spinach) ; carrots and tomatoes. The superstar fruits include citrus, berries and cherries. Note: it is best to eat cruciferous vegetables raw or lightly cooked, as some of the phytochemicals believed to offer protection against breast cancer are destroyed by heat.

4. Exercise regularly the rest of your life. Many studies have shown that regular exercise provides powerful protection against breast cancer. Aim for 30 minutes or more of moderate aerobic activity (brisk walking) five or more days a week. Consistency and duration, not intensity, are key!

5. Do your fats right! The type of fat in your diet can affect your breast cancer risk. Minimize consumption of omega-6 fats (sunflower, safflower, corn and cottonseed oils), saturated fats and trans fats. Maximize your intake of omega-3 fats, especially from oily fish (salmon, tuna, mackerel, sardines, lake trout and herring). Consume monounsaturated oils (canola, olive oil, nuts/seeds, avocados) as your primary fat source, as these foods have potential anticancer properties. Specifically, canola oil is a good source of omega-3 fats; extra virgin olive oil is a potent source of antioxidant polyphenols, including squalene; and nuts and seeds provide you with the cancer protective mineral, selenium.

6. Do your carbs right! Minimize consumption of the high glycemic index, "Great White Hazards" - white flour, white rice, white potatoes, sugar and products containing them. These foods trigger hormonal changes that promote cellular growth in breast tissue. Replace these "wrong" carbs with whole grains and beans/legumes. Beans/legumes because of their high fiber and lignan content are especially special.

7. Consume whole food soy products regularly, such as tofu, tempeh, edamame, roasted soy nuts, soy milk and miso. Only consume organic, non-GMO (genetically modified) soy. Epidemiologic studies have shown a positive association between soy consumption and reduced breast cancer risk.

8. Minimize exposure to pharmacologic estrogens and xeno-estrogens. Do not take prescription estrogens unless medically indicated. Lifetime exposure to estrogen plays a fundamental role in the development of breast cancer. Also avoid estrogen-like compounds found in environmental pollutants, such as pesticides and industrial chemicals. Buy organic produce if you can afford it; otherwise, thoroughly wash all non-organic produce. Minimize exposure to residual hormones found in non-organic dairy products, meat and poultry.

9. Take your supplements daily. A multivitamin, 500-1,000 mg of vitamin C in divided doses, 200-400 IUs of vitamin E as mixed tocopherols, and pharmaceutical grade fish oil. Also take 200 mcg of the mineral selenium or eat one to two Brazil nuts as an alternative. If you have a chronic medical condition or take prescription drugs, consult your physician first.

10. Maintain a positive mental outlook. Engage in self-nurturing behaviors regularly. Develop rich, warm and mutually beneficial relationships with family and friends. Get adequate sleep (7-8 hours per night). The mind-body associations with breast cancer are significant.



Of course you can never really cure or prevent cancer on your own but knowing there are things I can do to help prevent it, I'm gonna. I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone. It's an awful disease. It's hard on the person who has it, and on their family.

Please continue to keep my Mom in your prayers. I have apparently gained 5 lbs this week because of all of this. Not even necessarily eating all that bad... just STRESS!!!!

I told my mom at lunch today that we are going to make a bubble around her and keep all stress away from her. Stress can actually make the cancer grow and spread. Instead of taking all the family's stress on me, I need to figure out a way to completely eliminate it. If I gain 5 lbs a week from all of this, I'll never reach my goals.

I have an interview today. This is the worst possible time, but also the best. I can't survive on what I make now so I need better pay and more hours, but all I can think about is the time off work I'll need to take my mom to doctor appointments. What a horrible way to start out a new job.

Lots to stress about and lots to figure out...

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

Monday, December 14, 2009

Mother Effin' CANCER!!!

Cancer! UGH! I hate it... I seriously hate it.

Perhaps you remember about a month ago when I said my mom had to get a biopsy after an "abnormal" mammogram... well she went for the results today and found out it's cancer.

WHY???????????????

My mom is such a good person and has had to deal with SO much.... but why this? I am a Christian and I believe 100% in God. I know everything happens for a reason and He will never give us something we can't handle. I just never thought cancer would be something our family would ever have to talk about.

On the bright side, it's "stage 1" which is good. They caught it early enough that it CAN be removed. BUT... that means surgery and radiation.

I am so depressed right now. I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone... but especially not my mom. My heart breaks at the thought of her having to go through radiation treatments or the loss of a breast.

I am so unbelievably emotional today and feel like every positive vibe in my body was just torn to pieces. This is my MOM! She's like my mom and my dad since my "dad" is such an ass.

I know my mom is strong and will fight through this. It just kills me that she has to fight this at all.

Please, dear reader, pray for my mom. She needs prayers for healing, for strength and for the comfort she needs to get through this very scary chapter of her life. I love my mom and can't imagine my life without her... and I refuse to. Like I said, I know she is strong and will kick this in the large-and-painful ass! But still, I hate that she has to go through this.

Mark my word, dear reader, my life will never be the same now... in a very good way. We will be eating healthier than ever and will exercise every day like it's our last day. We can't change the fact that she has this, but we can make the changes now to make sure cancer is never a part of our family again!

I may not be blogging for a few days. This is a tough time for our family and we need to get our shit together and figure out how we're gonna beat this.

I totally caved at lunch time today and had a chocolate doughnut. I didn't even taste it. I can't even tell you my lunchtime conversation. I don't remember how I got there or back to my office. I can get myself into a lot of trouble really fast if I don't snap the hell outta it and get my focus back, so I need a little time to regroup. But I promise you this... no WAY is this going to get the best of me! I will fight it single handedly if I have to!

Please, please, PLEASE pray for my Mom!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~

Article: 50 Ways to Cut 500 Calories

I read a great article this morning and wanted to share:

50 Ways to Cut 500 Calories


Check it out! A lot of it I already knew, but there were a few new ideas on there!

Enjoy!

~*~ Beckie-Lynn ~*~